Everyone knows two things: most women enjoy talking & often wish their partner would listen better. You might think that this stereotype is somewhat accurate, and perhaps you’re even one of the guys who could listen better! However, we’re not here to judge: we’re here to talk about the importance of listening. Listening to your partner is definitely a vital step to building a strong relationship! Of course, the focus is usually on the woman talking & the man not listening, but what if the roles were reversed? Let’s go over a few stereotypes when it comes to men & having someone to talk to!
Straight Men & Listening Stereotypes
The old-time mindset is that men need to be “manly.” This means not showing emotion; essentially, being an unwavering rock! Having independence & inner strength is certainly a good thing, but even the strongest of men need someone to listen to them sometimes! Unfortunately, young men are often taught to suppress their feelings, which results in them never opening up (at least by choice). Sadly, this isn’t the right approach: as a society, we should encourage straight men to talk about their feelings more. On the flip side, we also need to stop judging them for doing so! Keeping emotions suppressed is harmful in the long run, so although they might not be willing to admit it, yes—straight men need someone to listen to them!
Gay Men & Listening Stereotypes
Gay men suffer from a very different stereotype than straight men. Whereas straight men are often seen as suppressing themselves, gay men are often thought of as over-expressing their emotions. While a quick glance at LGBT media or gay dating sites might seem to confirm this stereotype somewhat, it would actually be more accurate to say that gay men express themselves just the right amount! Gay men are almost never afraid to express their emotions (either in public or in private), and it’s this emotional strength that makes them great listeners themselves. That said, just like any other fellow, yes—gay men need someone to listen to them!
Transgender Men & Listening Stereotypes
Transgenderism hasn’t been a mainstream topic long enough to really develop any specific stereotypes, so we’ll approach this from a different angle. For many trans individuals, their gender identity journey has been a long & challenging road. From discrimination in the workplace to inter-family relationship issues, most transgender men aren’t blessed with a smooth transition process. As such, transgender men usually need someone to listen to them; a partner on the online dating site will do even better than a friend, as they are often seeking confirmation that they are, in fact, amazing men and they deserve it. Doing so not only helps them in their gender identity journey but also lets them feel at home in a society that historically has isolated them.
Are Stereotypes Helpful?
Not really. All of the stereotypes we’ve listed above may be accurate for the vast majority of their individual groups, but that doesn’t mean that they apply to every man within that specific group. No two men (straight, gay, transgender, or otherwise) are exactly the same, so their individual needs will vary. Some men who are more emotional may need someone to vent to on a regular basis, whereas other men may only need someone to lend an ear occasionally. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” amount of listening needed: everyone has their own needs!
While stereotypes themselves may be largely accurate, they do very little to actually help society progress. Painting straight men as emotionless masks or gay men as overly emotional doesn’t address the individual on a personal level & risks a gross misinterpretation of their needs. As a society, we need to stop relying on stereotypes so much & instead approach each individual with the same level of respect as the next. Why? Because...
Everyone Need a Good Listener
This is important in friendship, but it’s especially true for building relationships. If you’re just starting out dating online, you need to be ready to meet the individual needs of your new relationship. Online dating sites can be extremely useful for connecting different people, but if they come from different backgrounds, establishing a clear level of communication may be challenging. Did you know that couples who argue together tend to stay together? While this may not be an example of the best way to communicate, it does show something: addressing the issues directly is one of the best ways to improve & strengthen your relationship.
Speaking, even venting about everything, from getting tired of COVID or working relationships up is definitely an important part of communication, but so is listening. If the guy in your life doesn’t want to talk, you shouldn’t force him to. Instead, make it clear that you are willing to listen whenever he is ready to talk. It might take a little bit, but by listening to him & his concerns, you’ll be able to really address any issues in your life together (whether they be personal, romantic, or work-related) and come together as a couple. Communication is key so always be willing to lend an ear. Your relationship will thank you for it!
